The Russell-P Project:: I really wish I was a Mexican midget...

Now I know many of you are asking, Russell-P, what in the hell are you talking about? You are a great looking, funny, nice, sexy, killer package, nice tight buns, big strong man legs, fully of energy and money white guy why would you want to be a Mexican midget. Now if you asked yourself that exact question pat yourself on your back because you just became my new best friend. Truth of the matter is that I am none of the said things above except for the white guy part. But I digress, the fact of the matter is that I saw a Mexican midget this weekend and I wanted to be him.

So this weekend it just so happened that I had some down time on Sunday. This was my first day any many weeks where I could just lay in bed and watch TV. Typically my days are spent jet setting across the world in my million dollar private jet living the life on an international playboy... ok... well maybe my weekends are usually spent playing shows with my band and trying to recover from massive hangovers. That's almost the same thing as a jet setting playboy.

Either way I got to lie in bed this weekend for a lot of hours and watch TV. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am addicted to the Discover/History/National Geographic Channels. When I get home that is the first thing I do is flip it to channel 29 which is the Discovery channel. Well this weekend I got sucked into watching 6 hours of Discovery Channel programming based around The Davinci Code. Now I was a huge fan of the book and to show how big of a nerd I am I have done numerous hours of studying about the Knights Templar and Priory of Sion. What can I say, I am a huge history buff and even bigger nerd.

Now I am sure a lot of your are starting to ask, "Russell-P, come on now, get to the part about the midget". Well for those of you who are asking that fine, here it goes. So after about 6 hours of Discovery Channel I figured I would get a bit of exercise by picking up my remote and changing the channel. So as I was flipping through the channels I stumbled across a wrestling match on the Spanish channel. I was instantly amused by the 2 oversized (that's the nice way of saying fat ass) Mexican wrestlers wearing these crazy mask dukeing it out.

I decided what the hell, I had learned enough history from the Discovery Channel for the day, I might as well get a bit of international culture time in by watching the Spanish Channel and this wrestling match. Well I started watching the match and to my surprise this tiny ass little Mexican man came running out wearing this crazy blue bear outfit. This was by far the funniest thing I have ever seen. This little dude was tiny. Of course he was tiny, he was a midget, but I mean this guy was super tiny. He was small enough that I bet the other midgets made fun of him for being so short.

Well this little blue bear midget started running around messing with the other wrestlers. I wish I would have known what the hell they were talking about but unfortunately I got kicked out of Spanish class in Junior High and never got around to learning any more of that language besides saying Taco, Nacho and Queso.

Well I guess the midget said something wrong to one of the fat Mexican's because he proceeded to pick up the midget and toss it our of the ring. For the life of me I just about died laughing. Seeing this blue bear of a midget fly through the air was truly one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Well after watching that I have a new found respect for midgets. It must take a lot of balls being that small and having to go through life like that. So I say lets have a toast and raise our glasses to all the midgets around the world. And if it was up to me, I would declare the day May 22nd in the year of our Lord 2006 Mexican midget day.