The Russell-P Project:

My new job....

For those who have not seen or heard from me in the last few days there is a reason for it, you see I have started my new job and let me tell you what, wow it's a lot of work. For the last week I have been at our international sales conference and I have been at work from 6:45 a.m. till 10:00 p.m. every night. Now that's a lot of work.

It's been good though and a lot of fun. Everyone seems really cool and the company seems like a great company to work for. I am pumped up and excited about it. Well I am tired so talk to you guys later.    

So I got up early...

Wow it's 9:00 a.m. and I am up. Well the reason is at 2:00 a.m. we dropped a huge house fire and I just now got home from it. Yep, on scene for 7 hours. Now Whataburger is calling my name. Time for taquitos....

Question for all the famous people in the world...

I wonder if they waste as much of their day as I do on YouTube? I mean I have not been working for the past oh I don't know about month now and I would say I have spent about half that time on YouTube just looking around at crazy videos. This made me start to wonder if people who are famous and who don't have a quote unquote "real job" spend as much time on it as I do. I guess they don't. I suppose they are out there doing things that make them famous like writing music and making movies. Ha what losers.

I really wish I was a Mexican midget...

Now I know many of you are asking, Russell-P, what in the hell are you talking about? You are a great looking, funny, nice, sexy, killer package, nice tight buns, big strong man legs, fully of energy and money white guy why would you want to be a Mexican midget. Now if you asked yourself that exact question pat yourself on your back because you just became my new best friend. Truth of the matter is that I am none of the said things above except for the white guy part. But I digress, the fact of the matter is that I saw a Mexican midget this weekend and I wanted to be him.

So this weekend it just so happened that I had some down time on Sunday. This was my first day any many weeks where I could just lay in bed and watch TV. Typically my days are spent jet setting across the world in my million dollar private jet living the life on an international playboy... ok... well maybe my weekends are usually spent playing shows with my band and trying to recover from massive hangovers. That's almost the same thing as a jet setting playboy.

Either way I got to lie in bed this weekend for a lot of hours and watch TV. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am addicted to the Discover/History/National Geographic Channels. When I get home that is the first thing I do is flip it to channel 29 which is the Discovery channel. Well this weekend I got sucked into watching 6 hours of Discovery Channel programming based around The Davinci Code. Now I was a huge fan of the book and to show how big of a nerd I am I have done numerous hours of studying about the Knights Templar and Priory of Sion. What can I say, I am a huge history buff and even bigger nerd.

Now I am sure a lot of your are starting to ask, "Russell-P, come on now, get to the part about the midget". Well for those of you who are asking that fine, here it goes. So after about 6 hours of Discovery Channel I figured I would get a bit of exercise by picking up my remote and changing the channel. So as I was flipping through the channels I stumbled across a wrestling match on the Spanish channel. I was instantly amused by the 2 oversized (that's the nice way of saying fat ass) Mexican wrestlers wearing these crazy mask dukeing it out.

I decided what the hell, I had learned enough history from the Discovery Channel for the day, I might as well get a bit of international culture time in by watching the Spanish Channel and this wrestling match. Well I started watching the match and to my surprise this tiny ass little Mexican man came running out wearing this crazy blue bear outfit. This was by far the funniest thing I have ever seen. This little dude was tiny. Of course he was tiny, he was a midget, but I mean this guy was super tiny. He was small enough that I bet the other midgets made fun of him for being so short.

Well this little blue bear midget started running around messing with the other wrestlers. I wish I would have known what the hell they were talking about but unfortunately I got kicked out of Spanish class in Junior High and never got around to learning any more of that language besides saying Taco, Nacho and Queso.

Well I guess the midget said something wrong to one of the fat Mexican's because he proceeded to pick up the midget and toss it our of the ring. For the life of me I just about died laughing. Seeing this blue bear of a midget fly through the air was truly one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Well after watching that I have a new found respect for midgets. It must take a lot of balls being that small and having to go through life like that. So I say lets have a toast and raise our glasses to all the midgets around the world. And if it was up to me, I would declare the day May 22nd in the year of our Lord 2006 Mexican midget day.

There's a 5:30 in the morning?

So I just got some pretty disturbing news. I mean it's nothing crazy like I have cancer or my leg got bitten off by a great white shark, no this is way more disturbing then that. You see I just got an email from the company I am going to be working for and it seems that  my first day is going to be this Monday. Yeah for me because I was hoping to start work soon. Well here comes the disturbing part, you see I have to be at a hotel for a sales meeting at a place that is an hour away from my apartment. That in it's self is not bad the bad part is that I have to be there at 7:00 a.m.

You see here is the problem with that. For me to be there at 7:00 a.m. that means I need to wake up at around 5:30 a.m. Ok, I just woke up about 10 minutes ago and it's already 1:00 p.m. You see why this could be a little bit of a problem for me? I have been going to bed for the past month at around 4:30 a.m. every day. Now all of a sudden I have to get up at 5:30.... I'm boned.

Today I figured I would be a good little boy and try to wake up at 9:30, you know, gently ease into waking up early again. Well that didn't work. 9:30 came and went and I still snored and snoozed like it never happened. So starting tonight I have to go to bed early. No more staying up playing on MySpace or playing games on pogo.com I must, for the love of God, wake up early tomorrow. You guys say a little prayer for me on this one.

Shouldn't really be called the dollar theater now should it...

So last night my girlfriend and I had us a little date night. She decided to drive down from Huntsville so I figured if she was going to make the 50 mile drive I should better take her out on a nice date to try and impress her... So I took her to the dollar theater. Actually that's not true, it's now the dollar and a quarter movie theater. I guess that extra quarter just really up's their revenue.

Either way it was a fun time, we went to go see "Employee of the Month" with Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook. I must say it was a pretty good little flick. I also must say that Jessica Simpson made me want to stand up in the middle of the movie, point at the screen and yell out, "YUMMMMYYYYY". She was looking pretty fly in that movie.

I also must say that going to this particular dollar and a quarter theater was quit a multicultural experience. We had to be the only white couple in the entire theater. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this and I usually enjoy being the only white person. In fact after watching this movie thanks to the Hispanic family behind me I now know how to say half of the movie in Spanish. You see the family behind me took their grandmother with them to see the movie and undoubtedly she does not speak English because after every line of the movie she would say "Que". Then the family would translate the line for her in Spanish. I felt bad for the little boy with them because this particular translation job feel to him and you could tell he was not to happy with it.

Also on the other side of the theater there was a large group of black kids... sorry African American youths who thought they were pretty ghetto. It's always funny to see suburban kids try and dress ghetto. Either way it was funny to hear some of the things they were saying back to the movie screen. It always makes me laugh when I am sitting in the movie and something happens and someone yells out, "Yo girlfriend, you aint gotta take that from that cracker. Just beat his ass girl", then they snap their fingers. This always makes me chuckle inside.

So all and all it was a good little date night. It was a good movie and I loved being able to spend time with my girlfriend. We really are getting along great and things are gonig good with us.

It's been how long since I have wrote on this...

So I know, I know, it's been forever since I have wrote a blog. Well what do you expect, I am unemplyed, well have not started my new job yet, and sitting at home all day. I have many important things to do like X-box and hummmm X-box and MTV and a bit more X-box.

Actually things have been going really good for me. My new girlfriend and I, her name is Jubilee and no that is not a stripper name but her real name, have been doing good. She lives about an hour from here in Huntsville and she comes to visit as much as she can. It's pretty nice having a girlfriend I almost forgot what it was like for a bit there. She really is a super rad chick and is a lot of fun.

I should be starting my new job here in a week and I am somewhat excited about it. Not sure how long it will take me to get back into the swing of getting up early but we shall see. I figure it's kind of like jet lag when you go to a new country and after a few days I should be back into the swing of it. Needless to say I am more then ready to start work due to the fact that my funds are starting to dwendel down a bit. Don't get me wrong I am not broke but I am also not out buying bottels of Krystal like Puffy and all them kats.

On a side note it's Saturday and I am sitting at home by myself drinking. My band was going to come over and we were going to have a poker night but that did not work out. My girlfriend is in Huntsville working tonight so I figured what the hell, let's get drunk on my own and play X-box. Needless to say I got bored with that and this is why I decided to write a blog. Well like I said I am just chilling at home so if anyone wants to holla at a playa, that's what the kids say now and days for talk to me, then hit me up if you know how to get a hold of me.

Bet you thought I died didn't you...

Well I bet you guys are wondering why I have not posted a blog in a bit, well there is a really really good reason for that. The reason is.... I have been hooked on X-Box. That's right how sad is that? I am a 28 year old dude sitting at home playing X-Box for like 20 hours a day this past week. I must say, this has been a blast!! Nothing like sitting around just wasting time.

My band has had these past 2 weeks off and I already accepted that job so now all I have to do is just sit around all day wasting time until I start my job. It's the life let me tell you.

On a side note the other night I felt like one of the three wise men. Allow me to explain. So it was Christmas night and I was a bit hungry. Well I jump in my car and start heading down the road looking for something to eat. I look up into the Northern sky and what do I see? No it was not the north star it was the golden arches. That's right, like a beacon calling my name the golden arches was the only thing lit up in the night sky. I imagine this was the feeling the Three Wise Men felt when they saw the North Star. So like the wise men looking for the manger I pulled in to McDonalds for a bite to eat. How sweet is that? On Christmas day I get to eat at McDonald's. Now that's some damn good Christmas dinner.

Well I promise I will try and get on here and do some more writing. I think my X-Box addiction is now up and I will get back to playing around on MySpace and writing blogs. I wonder if my new job has MySpace blocked at the office?

No longer unemployed...

That's right, I got offered a letter today to do sales for a large software company here in Houston. I have not excepted it yet but I think I am going to. It's a good company that has been around for a while and they sale SAP type applications to large companies. So the money will be good. I will let you guys know more about it later, I am running late to practice.

Another day another interview...

So once again I am up early and on my way to an interview. In fact this is the 2nd time for me to interview with the company. Today I am meeting with the CEO who flew in from good old California. I am pretty stoked about this company and this job. I think I would be a good fit for them as they for me. Not to mention it would almost be double my pay from my old job. So wish me luck here I go again.

Cute couple or not?

   

Unemployment Day 10: The Interview

Professional MySpace Stalker?

These days, you can get paid for almost anything. Get paid for blogging, get paid for shopping, get paid for trying out new products, etc. But what if you could get paid for just being on MySpace?

Imagine what would happen to the economy if suddenly millions of MySpace users were getting paid to hang out on MySpace. Wouldn't that be something?

Still, if I could pay someone to do something MySpace-related, it would be to cyber-stalk people for me. Ok, let me explain...

Now that MySpace has given its users the option to make their profiles private, it's gotten a bit harder to "stalk". Let's say your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend has a private profile. Now you can't secretly read their blog, comments or scope out their friends list. In fact, the only way to do that is to send a friend request and get them to ACCEPT it... and since doing that would most definitely "out" you...that's not going to happen.

But what if there were professional MySpace stalkers? Their job would be to either get themselves added to that persons friend's list or to find someone who already is who can give you the skinny on that persons profile. Their services would be in demand for sure.

This is all hypothetical of course. It's not like I actually stalk anybody on MySpace.

And if I did, I certainly wouldn't tell you... ;-)

Unemployment Day... Hummm something or another.

So today I had another interview. It went good except it was for a position that I really do not want or is it wont? I forget these grammatical things like this. Well the good thing is the guy who interviewed me hooked me up with 6 contacts for people who are looking for sales guys. That's not bad, in fact I have an interview with one of them on Monday. I also have an interview for another company on this Friday. See not to shabby for a guy with a photo degree. The only down side is the one on Friday is at 8:30 a.m. and my band has a show the night before in Clearlake. That means my ass will not be getting home and hitting the bed till about 5:00 a.m. That might be one of the nights where I just stay up and pray that I can make it till 8:30.

Other then that life is going pretty sweet. My band and I went to The Warehouse live to check out where we are going to be playing for New Years and I must say... KICK ASS!! That is going to be one hell of a good time. I can not wait.

Also yesterday we took some pictures for the band with this guy in Houston named Tre Ridings. This guy has shoot all kinds of bands from Manson to Hoobstank to all kinds of people. Here is a link to his page if you want to check him out. Photographic Tendencies He is also the main photo guy for 94.5 The Buzz and for The Warped Tour. He got some pretty killer shots and I should be posting some of them tonight.

Also tonight is the new night of The Real World. I know, I know what you are saying, "Russell-P what in the hell are you doing watching that crap for. You could spend your time better just sitting around getting kicked in the nuts". Well what can I say, someone got me hooked on watching it and now I dig it and we watch it together. Could be worse, I could be watching reruns of The Simple Life with Paris Hilton.

Unemployment Day 10: The first job interview...

So today I had my first job interview and it went pretty well I must say. I have to give them a call back tomorrow to let them know if I am going to take the job or not. It's a pretty good job and it comes with a lot more money then my old job. I have another interview tomorrow so depending on how it goes I might end up taking this job.

Unemployment Day 6: YouTube is blowing up...

So somehow the video blog that I posted got huge hits on YouTube. In fact in 24 hours it has been viewed by over 30,000 people and has something like 20 honors to it. Here is the funny part of this, most people think I am serious in it. I mean yes I am serious that I don't have a job but the rest of it is somewhat of a joke. In fact it's funny as hell because most people get pissed at me about it and leave really rude comments. For some reason I find that extremely funny. In fact it has somewhat became an open forum for people to discuss the state of the economy in America and how we are lazy because we can't find a job.

Either way if you get a bit of time and want to laugh go check it out at YouTube, my video, and read some of the funny comments. Also feel free to rank the video. I mean what the hell might as well rank it and get it higher on the list for more people to see it and get pissed about.

On a sidenote I have an interview on Tuesday of next week so I think I need to get my hair cut. That's kind of sad because I was growing it out and it's been like 4 months since I have cut it but it looks like ass right now and not good enough to get a job with.

YOUTUBE PEOPLE: If you came to this blog from YouTube just leave me a quick comment and let me know, I am curious how many people are coming over from it.

Unemployment Day 3: Starting to feel like a bum...

So the novelty of this having no job thing is starting to wear off. I mean sure waking up at 12:00 everyday then sitting around in your underwear watching cartoons and eating cereal is fun and all but after 3 days of it I am about ready to get to work.

I have actually set up one interview for the week of the 11th and I have about 3 other companies I need to call today and set up interviews with. It's kind of cool knowing that it has only been a couple of days and already I have had a handful of companies looking at me. Lets just hope one of the works out.

On a side note I have found a new food to eat. At McDonalds they have these $1.39 chicken wraps that are cheap as hell and fill you up. So there you go, that's my first step I have taken in money managment. Hopfully that will be a lesson that I learn from not having a job. I have always had a problem with mananing money. Usually my money managment skills go like this, "I have money. I see something I want to buy and I get it. I then have no money and wish I had more". That's pretty much how it goes. This is basically what I know of money, "I't s green, smells good, fits in my pocket and I wish I had more of it".

Oh well. On a sidenote my band has a some shows coming up and my ankel is getting to where I can stand up on it. Maybe in a few weeks I will be able to jump up and down on it. Also there is a chance that our band is going to be opening up for somone at the Houston Rodeo this year. I don't want to tell you who the person we might open for is yet but it should be a fun show if we get it, keep your fingers crossed.

Unemployment Day 2: No cooking but the date went good...

So last night I was going to have a date come over and cook for her. Well that did not end up happening due to the time frame so instead we went out to eat. Needless to say the date went really well, she is a super cool chick and a lot of fun.

So I am still getting used to this not having a job business. I thought it would be nice to sit at home and do nothing but to tell you the truth it really sucks. I feel so unproductive that it's driving me crazy or as the joke goes; A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says "Excuse me, cap'n, but did you know that you've got your ship's wheel stuck in your pantaloons?"  "Aye," says the pirate, "that thing be drivin' me nuts!  Aaargh!". Either way it's driving me nuts but not in the literal since.

I have had a few company's call me about setting up an interview so that's some good news. In fact as soon as I jump out of the bath I am going to get on the phone and call these people back. How sad is that, it's 2:15 and I just got out of bed a little bit ago. Oh the life of an unemployed wanna-b Rockstar...

Unemployment Day 1: Life is pretty damn good…

So today is my first day of being unemployed. You know what… It feels pretty damn good knowing that I don’t have to go sit in the cubical farm anymore. Actually I woke up this morning and a Bob Marley song came to my mind, it goes something like this.

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

You know what; life is going to be great for me. This losing my job business I have a feeling is going to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I now know that I will be able to go out there and find the job that makes me happy and that I kick some major ass at. I actually have already had 3 companies contact me and want to set up interviews. Not too bad for only being unemployed for about 24 hours.

On a side note I have to learn how to cook a meal by sometime tonight. Let’s just say that if you plan on taking a girl on a first date to a nice place to eat, then you lose your job the day before you have to improvise and learn how to cook something to impress her. Needless to say I am the worst cook in the world. Actually I take that back, I am beyond being the worst cook in the world. As of now the only thing I have ever really cooked before was pop-tarts and Eggo waffles. Don’t think I will impress anyone with a meal like that.

I can see the scene now, the lights are real low. The candles are lit on the table with a nice red table cloth. Two glasses of the finest box wine from 7-11 are on the table in the nicest of wine glasses. Then the appetizer comes out and it’s 4 chocolate pop-tarts. This is then followed up by the main course which consists of a stack of Eggo waffles and Mrs. Butterworth finest of syrup. Now that’s a hell of a first date.

So I know I have a lot of people out there who can help me out here. What’s a good thing to cook for someone who does not know the difference between a spatula and a toaster?

Russell-P now has no job...

Well I am officially now a professional musician, well that is too say I now make 100% of my income from music. You see today I got laid off from my job. Well chose to get fired actually. If I would have resigned I would not have been given a package so I chose the "get fired" option so that way I can now get unemployment. Yeah for me, I am now an unemployed musician.

Actually this is really not such a bad thing. For anyone who knows me they know how much I hated my job. I mean I could not stand being there. I really just hated being stuck inside a cube all day long. As if you guys can't tell I am some what of a people kind of person. I think I would enjoy doing some type of sales.

So if anyone out there knows of any job openings, perferable a sales type job but really just anything let me know.

Map of my visitors...

Click to zoom in on my visitor map!

Top 10 things Russell-P is grateful for...

So in honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, damn time fly’s I remember it being 4th of July just the other day, I am going to do a list of the top 10 things I am grateful for. Please feel free to add to the list with things that you are grateful for also.

10. I am thankful that in a few days Mel Gibson can start to celebrate Hanukkah
9. I am thankful that one day global warming will kill us all and that way Kevin Federline will not be able to put out another album.
8. I am thankful that all the Bible prophecies have come true and now Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie can be friends again.
7. I am thankful that if Madonna adopts one more baby she will be able to have her own United Nations, a baby from every country, and be able to host her own Olympics.
6. I am thankful for all the dates from hell I endure and that they will make a great chapter in my eventual VH-1 biography.
5. I am thankful for soft summer rains, the musical laugh of a child... and Britney Spears getting sluttier by the minute.
4. I am thankful for all the valuable skills I'm learning, one day I, too, might become President of the United States.
3. I am thankful for Oprah – she’s a female role model that is strong, intelligent, compassionate, articulate, and doesn’t apologize for it. Such a rarity... wait that's something I am not grateful for.
2. I am thankful for all the homeless people living in Houston who keep me entertained on my lunch breaks.
1. And the number 1 thing I am grateful for is my ex for breaking up with me before the holidays thus saving me $1000 on Christmas gifts... Just kidding. It would have been more like $1800 on gifts. ;-)

On a side note my band has 4 shows in the next 4 days and I am pumped up and can't wait. It's like a freaking high for me to be on stage and I am jonesing for it right now. These are supposed to be some killer shows with a lot of people there so I am ready to get out there and play. Just sucks I can't jump around as much as I want to due to the busted up foot.

The Christmas spirit is certainly not alive at Popeye's Chicken...

So I must say there is a certain lack of the holiday cheer at the Popeye's Chicken on Travis and Walker in Downtown Houston. Today I decided to hobble on over the block in a half to get me some good ole southern fried chicken and boy was I in for a surprise. It seems that on Tuesday's they have 1 wing and 1 thigh for 89 cents. Not a bad deal I must say although I am sure when the marketing geniuses behind this little campaign thought this up they never imagined it turning a Popeye's into a sociological study. You see 89 cents just so happens to be the amount of change that every homeless person in Houston has in their pockets, therefore they all decided to migrate to Popeye's today for a pre Thanksgiving dinner. That's right; Popeye's all of a sudden looked like a homeless shelter.

Let me give you a little bit of background real quick. My degree is in photography with a minor in sociology, yes I know what you are thinking and your right, it was a waste of 5 years but damn there were some good parties. In fact I was only one class short of having a second major in sociology. Therefore I happen to be a huge fan of people watching. I can just sit for hours and watch people, for some reason I find it interesting, see I told you guys I was a huge nerd. Either way I decided to go ahead and eat my meal at the Popeye's and just observe the people for a bit. Over the course of my hour lunch/sociological break here are some of the things I observed.

1. Homeless people do not like being called bums by Popeye's employees. One big old black Popeye's employee decided to tell one of the homeless people that he needs to leave. She did this by saying, "Hey you bum, you need to get your stuff and get out of here". He politely responded, "Lady, I ain't no bum, I am homelessly challenged".

2. Big old black Popeye's employees do not like being referred to as "Hey you old black bitch". That's right, one of the homelessly challenged gentlemen decided to use this term when ordering some chicken. He said and I quote, "Hey you old black bitch, fetch me some chicken and it better be spicy or I will come back there and whoop yo damn ass". This promptly got him removed from this fine establishment.

3. Watching a conversation on the social structure of our city by two homeless guys can be entertaining for hours on end. A black and a white homeless guy were arguing about which race is better. In the end the decided that white and black where equal and that they both hated the Mexicans.

So I must say this made for one hell of a lunch break. It really makes me wish I would have taken that extra class in college and got a major in Sociology. I know that if I would have I would have written my senior research paper over the cultural Mecca that Popeye's is.

“When the thunder rumbles
Now the Age of Gold is dead
And the dreams we’ve clung to dying to stay young
Have left us parched and old instead . . .
When my courage crumbles
When I feel confused and frail
When my spirit falters on decaying alters
And my illusions fail,
I go on right then.
I go on again.
I go on to say I will celebrate another day
I go on . . . .”

Big Hair Russell-P...

So one of my friends who has not seen me in a while she wanted to know how my hair is looking since I am growing it out, well here you go. Keep in mind though this is not how I am wearing it. :-)

On a side note I am going to the Dr again tomorrow to get my foot looked at. It is still the same size swollen and tehe same color black and blue as when it happend. Let's keep our fingers crossed that they
a. don't have to amputate the toes
b. they don't put it in a cast that I will have to wear during the New Years show
I am pretty sure that something in my foot is broken so I am pretty sure b is going to happen.

It's only 11:00 a.m. and the day is already bad...

It's only freaking 11:00 a.m. and the day is going bad, what gives? So at about 6:00 a.m. after I went to bed at 4:30 a.m. my cat thought it would be cute to start ripping up my curtains. Needless to say my curtains are not the highest quality and they started to shred. Well I get up and yell at her and 10 min later she's back at it.

Then my neighbors dog starts barking his brains out at 7:30. What the hell is so important to a dog that it feels it needs to bark and share it with the world? I don't get it.

Then my neighborers decided to have sex at 8:00 in the morning and be really loud with it. Come on, it's 8:00 in the morning go to McDonald's or something instead.

Now I am getting ready to go and meet someone for the first time so I am doing the trying to look real good and bad ass thing, the only bad thing is it's not working. You know that time when you know how you want your hair to look but you just can't get it to do it? Well that's the time right now for me. My freaking hair is getting long as hell that it's hard to do anything with. Damn, I really sound like a girl don't I?

5 months away and I can't wait...

That's right folks, (SideNote: Yes I know I start a lot of my blogs with "That's right folks". I figure it gives my blog a nice southern feel for all those people who are not from Texas) 5 months away before I can really start to be happy again. Every one has certain times in the year that they like best mine just happens to start in 5 months. You guys know what it is? Well for those who know me you might have a clue what it is already, that's right folks... IT'S BASEBALL SEASON!!!

Yes I can not wait till this year of baseball kicks back up!! I am ready for basketball season to be done and over with and the real sport of baseball to kick back up. I am really getting tired of seeing all the billboards for the Rockets. I mean hell there are two of them with in less then a mile from each other of my apartment, now what's the point in that? Let's not even mention football here in Houston. I could not even begin to tell you who four of the players on the Texans are. I mean that's a team that just really sucks ass.

Either way this next year my new years resolution will not be to lose weight, it will not be to get in better shape, it will not be to become a better person. No my new year's resolution will be to win my fantasy baseball league. That's right, I said it Garett and Shelby and all you other people who played this year with me, and I am going to win it. Number one right here baby!! The All-Steroid Team shall prevail this year. For those who don't know The All-Steroid Team is the name of my fantasy team.

This year I shall be ever so wiser when I select my team and go with the numbers not my heart. I mean I am a die hard Houston Astros fan through and through. Last year on my team I think half of them were Astros. I even took Bagwell and Clemens on my team. I held on to Clemens for half the season before he finally started to play.

So this year I shall not be playing with my heart, I will choose a wiser team with more diversity. Ok, actually I take that back. I know how I am, I have a feeling my team is going to be almost all Astros again this year, but this year will be different. Oh yes, this year I feel it, the Astros will have the heart of a lion and win it this year. Anyone care to take a bet on that?

I am more likely to date a black guy then an Asian women...

Now don't let this title throw you off, I am in no way attracted to black guys. In fact I am in no way attracted to guys at all. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay (Side Note: Any time anyone says something about them not liking other guys they always seem to follow it up with "Not that there is anything wrong with that", it's like a universal disclaimer or something) it's just not for me. Either way, that's not the point of this blog. The point of this blog, if there is one, is that it is really hard for a white guy in Houston Texas to date an Asian woman. I think there is more of a chance that the Jews will forgive Hitler then there is me finding an Asian woman to date, and it's not because I am not looking because trust me, I am.

It just seems to me that most Asian women travel in these little packs that are almost impossible to infiltrate. I mean think about it, go on to MySpace right now and find an Asian girl's profile. Now look at her top 8 list. I would be willing to bet that almost everyone on there is another Asian person. What gives with that? Don't you Asian girls know that there are some white guys out there, for instance me, that would love to date one of you? Hello Asian ladies? Yahoo, look right here. There is a good looking somewhat funny white guy who wants to be immersed in the Asian ways. Come and take me to China, I am ready for it.

I mean I would be the perfect candidate to date an Asian girl. I mean I love Chinese food, I love Sushi, and I am killer with a pair of chop sticks. No lie, I once caught a fly with a pair of chop sticks, it has to go down as one of the coolest things I have ever done. I also now thanks to you guys know who General Tso is. So what gives, why can this white guy not land a smoking hot Asian girl? That's all I want in life, just a little Asian girl that I can call my lotus blossom.

On a side note it is good to know that Asian guys feel the same way.

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.

I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
And when did your eyes
Begin to look fake?
I hope you were as happy as your pretending

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew here we're safely at home

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...
How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out

Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear

Are you dancing with the stars? No, me either...

So I don't get it. Maybe I am one of the 10% out there but I just don't see what's so great about this show? I don't even know who half the stars on the show are. I can only imagine what's on tap for next season, are they going to have Colby Carr, the guy who won the Ford Mustang on the Showcase Showdown in 1997 on the Price is Right? Like I said, maybe I am just the weird one but to me the show is just not appealing.

Now if they were to add a clause to the game where the two people with the least amount of votes had to wrestle each other to stay on the show then maybe I would watch. I mean who would not want to see Jerry Springer take on Joey Lawrence in an all out no holds bared wrestling death match? For me, I don't know if it would get any better then that. All though I would have to put my money on Jerry Springer, all Joey would do is just sit there and say "Whoa".

So like I said maybe I am the weird one. Maybe I am in that small amount of people out there that would prefer to watch the Discovery Channel on Tuesday's at 8 instead of this show. Or maybe I'm not, maybe I am really a closet watcher of this show and I am extremely addicted to it? Ok, yeah, I'm not but what about you guys. Do any of you out there watch it?

On a sidenote this is the best movie clip of any movie ever. Yes better then Gone With the Wind, yes better then Casa Blanca, yes better then Debbie Does Dallas... Ok well maybe not that good but pretty close. Might take it a bit to load it's pretty big but it's worth the wait.

My roommate and I are moving...

That's right, we have grown tired of this apartment living and are deciding to move into a house. We have found one that is actually about the same price we pay for our apartment but it's bigger. In fact we are deciding on this house for one main reason, it looks like an old school Pizza Hut. How freaking cool is that? Either way our lease is up in Dec and I think that is when we are going to be moving so you now what that means.... CLUB 1127 HOUSE PARTY!!!!

On a side note, I dig this picture.

One more sidenote: For those who ask why I play music it's because I would give anything to be able to get a crowd to do this and just have that much energy. This is one of my favorite bands.

My boys Shelby's B-day...

This Saturday is going to be my boys Shelby's bday and I think he is going to be coming out to my show to celebrate it. So you know what that means? That means all you guys have to come out there also and celbrate it with us. We want to make this the Krunkest party for Shelby ever so all you guys need to come on out and party it up with us.

On a side note my foot is even more swollen and I am working from home today. Good God I hate having a busted up foot.

Wow, Codeine induced dreams are pretty wild...

So last night I took some Hydrocodone that the doctor gave me for my ankle and I must say that stuff makes you have some pretty crazy dreams.

Last night I had a dream that I was down in Cozumel Mexico and I decided that I was going to take the island over for myself. I ended up going to Senior Frogs and started preaching the good word of Russell-P and how I should be the leader of the island and sure enough it started to work. Before no time I had amassed a small army of drunken college coeds and we decided to take the rally to the streets and take over the island.

This is where it starts to get weird, the first part of this was not weird because when I went to Cozumel in college I really did stand up on the table and try to get Senior Frogs to take over the island, well we walk outside of Senior Frogs and sure enough there is a large number of Asian midgets in loin cloths and spears waiting for me to control them. I end up jumping on a Rascal scooter, you know the scooters that the old people roll around in at Wal-Mart, well I jump on one of those and we start marching down the island gathering people as we go.

The entire time this is going on the song Black Parade by My Chemical Romance is playing in the background. If you don't know the song then click the video below to hear it. Well we end up getting the entire island to agree to join our little army and all is good. We end up having this killer party on the beach and then out of no where I look up and see the entire U.S. Navy pulling in to port. Yes I know, Cozumel is owned by Mexico and I have no clue why the U.S. Navy was there.

Well I decide to pull Russell's Little Troopers, that's the name I gave my midget army, back and hole up at Carols and Charlie's for the war that is about to happen. We end up getting there and I decided to give my army a little pep talk before the fight. I don't remember all of what the speech was but the summary of it was something along the lines of you guys are midgets but you need to fight like giants. I then ended up sending them out to fight.

Needless to say they lost, in fact that lost bad. Asian midgets in loin cloths with spears is no match for the U.S. Navy. Well after the defeat they ended up capturing me and taking me aboard the U.S. Britney Spears aircraft carrier to meet with the President of the United States. It ended up the President in my dream was Adam Sandler. I explained to him that the reason I tried to take over the island was because I always wanted to own an island and populate it with midgets. He agreed that that sounded like it would be fun and forgave me for trying to take over the island.

So after that I woke up and decided that maybe I should not take any more pills before I go to bed. I can only imagine what kind of dream I am going to have tonight.

Chicks dig it...

So we are at the mall in Arlington and I must say chicks dig guys in wheelchairs. I got a wheelchair to roll around in, on a sidenote my singer Alan is pushing me and he thinks I am a Nascar racer, and ever girl is stoping to talk to us. We want to put a sign on it that says free wheelchair rides for the ladies. On a sidenote we got reconized at the mall by a couple of hot chicks who saw us last night at the show.

My new name...

So we are on our way to play a few shows in Dallas and I haved decided I am no longer going to go by Russell-P, I am now going as D.J. Blackwood... Don't ask. Sidenote I love having my sidekick on these little mini tours because I can sit here and chat with people on it and make the drive go faster. If you know my screen names on yahoo or aol shoot me a message. I am just siting here in the car texting and messaging people.

Holy crap, I could have bought a Porsche...

That's right folks, for the amount of money that you will spend on your cell phone from the age of 14-72, 72 being the life expectance here in the USA, sorry all you foreign people this might not apply to you. Especially if you live in a small little third world country where your life expectance is like 32 and you don't even have running water in your little hut. Then again if you don't have running water in your hut you more the likely don't have a cell phone or a computer to read this so disregard that last part. Or if you're in France disregard this because you guys smoke way too much and I bet half of you don't live past 50. Either way, for the amount of money that you spend in your life on your cell phone you could have bought a really nice Porsche.

They say that the average person spends $162,000 on their cell phone over the course of their life. That's a freaking lot of money. Let me break it down for you. You will spend $90,000 on text message and just your average minute plans. $15,000 on accessories such as blue tooth's and ring tones. $50,000 on new phones that you buy and $7,000 on going over your minutes.

Now if you stop and think about that for a few minutes that's really crazy. That's a crap load of money that you are spending just so you can talk to your friends. Now that I think about it I really don't want to spend that kind of money just to talk to my buddies. Hell, I don't want to spend that kind of money to talk to any one. So as of now I am tossing away my chain that holds me to society. I am getting rid of my cell phone. That's right, I am breaking free of these chains and saving my money to buy a Porsche when I reach 72. No more phone calls for me, no more text messages for me, no more... hold on.. Someone's calling me... crap I really need to get this call it's from this hot girl I met... DAMN IT!!! The man keeps his bonds on me and beats me down once again, I guess I will keep my cell phone.

On a side note I noticed that I get a few people from NASA who read my stuff, are you guys like rocket scientest or something? Shouldn't you guys be building a rocket instead of reading my stuff. ;-)

I heard about your trip
I heard about your souvenirs
I heard about the cool breeze and the cool nights
And the cool guys that you spent them with
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I guess I should have heard of them from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away

I heard about your regrets
I heard that you were feeling sorry
I heard from someone that you wish you could
Set things right between us
Well, I guess I should have heard of that from you
I guess I should have heard of that from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away
To keeping you away

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers
I'll be alright when my hands get warm
Ignoring the phone--I'd rather say nothing
I'd rather you never heard my voice
You're calling too late, too late to be gracious
You do not warrant long goodbyes
You're calling too late
You're calling too late
You're calling too late

Question of the day...

So I just went to get some food at Chick-Fa-Lay and as I was walking back this girl, well she is dressed as a girl but is really a guy, opened the door for me and I said, "Thanks dude". Right after I said it I had a thought. Is it appropriate to say "thanks dude" to a person who is dressed as a chick but has not yet had the sex change or should I have said "thanks lady"?

Fast food outsourcing…

That’s right folks, this just in. For now on when you go to certain McDonalds and decide to mess with the person on the speaker at the drive through you might not be messing with the person inside the restaurant. You might in fact be messing with someone at a call center somewhere in another part of the country.

It seems that the new trend with fast food places is to have their order takers at a call center and no longer worried about stuffing ketchup in your to go bag. The reason behind this is that they feel that it will speed up your time at their restaurant thus increasing their revenue. The down side to this is that the outsourced order takers are going to be working off commission. That's right, now you are going to have to deal with the hard sell when ever you order your meal. I can only imagine the conversation going like this.

You: Yes I will have a #5 please with a Dr. Pepper.
Them: Would you like a apple pie with that?
You: No thank you.
Them: You sure, they are really warm.
You: Hummmm no really thank you.
Them: It's just like your grandmother makes.
You: My grandmother is dead, thanks for reminding me.
Them: Well then you should have one of these warm apple pies in remembrance of her.
You: Look buddy, I said I don't want your damn apple pie.
Them: Ok, ok, I get it. Alright then so we have a #5 with a Dr. Pepper and an apple pie right?
You: AUUUGGGGHHHHHHH

So you can see these are going to be interesting times we are facing here really soon. Looks like I might actually have to learn to cook at home now.

Not sure who General Tso is but he sure does move a lot of chickens...

So for lunch today I decided to go for a bit of the international flavor and go chow down on some Chinese food. Well the place I went to was a sit down restaurant, on a side note when the lady asked me how many I told her “table for one” I now want to write a song called table for one. Either way after I told her a table for one please she looked at me and said, “Oh, poor guy. You all alone on your big job lunch time break. You need a young pretty girl to keep you company and make you go smile. You should meet my daughter. She very young very pretty, she has small feet like lotus petal. Make a good wife for you, no?” After I politely told the nice Asian lady no thank you I sat down to enjoy a good meal. This is when it occurred to me. Who the hell is General Tso?

I ended up ordering his chicken and I must say who ever he was he sure does make one hell of a chicken dish. I mean I bet 20 million Americans a day eat his chicken and no one really knows who he is. Was he some kind of crazy cook in China that made everyone who worked for him call him General? Was he some kind of Ninja military man who while out on a mission was faced with having no food for him and his men so he went out and slaughtered a chicken only to marinate it in the finest of sauce. All his men rejoiced and loved the food so much that he gave up his life as a ninja general to become a chef? Was he perhaps the Chinese version of the American KFC guy, Colonel Sanders? These are the questions I asked my self as I sat there and ate my Chinese food at a table for one while I listened to a recording of Somewhere Out There from that Fifel movie being played on a really crappy flute. Gotta love the music selection at Chinese food places.

This is so very true.

So that was a bit unnerving...

So this past weekend I had the night off from the band, that was our first weekend off in a very long time and will be our only weekend off for the next 3 months, so a few of us decided to head on up to a place called The Boulevard. I was very impressed it was a pretty cool place. The inside looks really nice and has the laid back lounge feel to it. The cool thing about the place is upstairs they have a huge balcony and it was jammed pack with some super hot chicks. The hot chick factor is always a plus when it comes to finding a place to go and party at.

A friend of my roommate and mine is a bartender there and she did an excellent job of getting us intoxicated for free. It was kind of funny. A while back when we all went out I made her do a shot with me called a prairie fire. It is a shot that is made of Tequila, Tabasco Sauce and Bacardi 151. Needless to say it's a pretty tough drink and she took it like a champ. Well the other night she decided to make me one while she was bartending. The only problem is that they had no Tabasco Sauce. Side Note: Should Tabasco Sauce be capitalized? Either way they had no sauce so I decided to use my ninja skills and go to the bar next door and steal some. It was pretty funny, I talked the girl at the door into not making me pay a cover then walked in got the hot sauce and walked right back out. I held it up to her as I walked out and said thanks. She looked at me like I was really weird. So now because of me The Boulevard has a bottle of Tabasco lying around.

So as the night progressed I decided I would find the hottest girl in the bar and just go up and talk to her. Well I finally found the best looking girl and did just that. This is how the conversation went.

Russell-P: Hey how are you doing? (Really good pick up line I know. I should have used the line, "Do you know how much a polar bear weighs... Enough to break the ice".)
Hot Girl: Hey I know you.
Russell-P: Hummm you know me? (In my head: How in the hell does this girl know me?)
Hot Girl: Yeah, you're Russell from MySpace.
Russell-P: (Inner monolog in my head: Holy crap, what does this girl already know about me) Really you know who I am?
Hot Girl: Yeah I read your stuff all the time.
Russell-P: Oh ok, cool well I need a beer talk to you later. (This is where I turned and ran away. Something about hitting on someone who already knows a lot about you just kind of freaked me out)

So that was really weird trying to chat up a girl who knows about you and who reads what you write, in fact, she might be reading this right now. How weird would that be? Either way it just kind of freaked me out for some reason and made me realize that maybe I should not post as much of my inner thoughts on here as I do. I mean all the songs and poems that I write and all that kind of crap I might need to stop posting it on here. That's the last thing I need is for some girl who is interested in me to read some of that crap I write about my ex or what not. So I think I am just going to stop posting those kinds of blogs. See there you guys go, you lucked out, no more having to read my crappy love songs or poems.

On a complete side note I want to make a movie about two people who meet at the police station after they both get arrested. They end up falling in love with each other even though they are both completely self destructive. They will both have dependency problems on drugs and both have a fear of commitment. In the end they will learn that tet only thing that matters in life is both of them to each other and the love that they have.

One of my favorite videos right now... Reminds me of my life and my friends. This is one of the songs I want played at my funeral. The last 15 sec of the video is the life that I want.

Eve 6 - Here's to The Night

England... here we come...

That's right, Russell-P is getting ready to take a little trip over across the pond. This February my buddy Shelby, possible my roommate Boob, and I are going to be going over to London for a week. We ended up finding some really cheap airline tickets so we decided what the hell, let's go over for a week and just cruise around London and see what all kind of trouble we can get into.

Shelby and I went over to Europe a few years ago and had a complete blast being there. It was our Goonie Adventure Tour so this time around it will be the Goonie Adventure Tour #2. Yes we are huge nerds and referred to ourselves as the Goonies while we were over there. It should be a lot of fun just being over there and having a week to just see what all there is too see. With any luck I will end up meeting Posh Spice, she will fall head over hills in love with me, leave Beckham and take me in as her trophy husband. That's the hopes for this trip at least.

Either way, I know some of you people who read this are from Europe so you guys need to let me know what all I should do when I get over there. Shelby want's to try and befriend some European people on MySpace and my blog so that way maybe we can have someone to party with when we get over there. So if anyone who is reading this is from the England area hit me up and let me know. Or if anyone of your guys have been over to London let me know what all places you think I would like to see or where all I should go. We are debating taking a train up to Amsterdam and looking for Club Vandersexxx from the movie Eurotrip.

Trip Update: I think we might be able to work it out where we will be in Dublin for St. Patricks Day. Now that will be a hell of a trip. London, Amsterdam and Dublin on St. Pat's Day. Hell yeah!!

SideNote: Happy B-Day to my fraternity. SigEp.

Never have Russell-P pick you up from the airport...

So my buddy Garett flew in from being in Europe yesterday and he asked me to pick him up. Big mistake. I have a tendency to act stupid and try to embarras people in public settings. Needless to say this was the case last night.

So I ended up walking to the baggage claim area looking for Garett when low and behold I see him with his back to me waiting for his bags. I instantly yell out "GARETT I MISSED YOU". I go running over to him like a mad man and start giving him hugs. All the people in the baggage area just look over like what the hell just happend. Needless to say a Garett is a very timid and mild creature that does not like to have attention called to it's self so this was a bit akward for him. :-)

Either way, I am glad you are back G-Dawg, now you just need to come out on Saturday and party club 1127 style with us.

Today I have been to hell and back…

That’s right folks, today I ventured into the pits of hell. I went to the deepest and darkest depth of humanity and have returned a stronger person with a completely different outlook on life and society. No I was not literally in hell; although I have a feeling my cubical at work is a good representation of what hell is like, no folks I was at an even darker place then that. I was at a hell on Earth. Today, I was at the DMV.

This past weekend I unfortunately lost my drivers license in Austin. I say unfortunately because if I would have known what I would have had to go through to get a new one I would have super glued my license to my forehead so that I would never lose it. Well this morning I spent 3 hours at the DMV trying to get a new drivers license.

The DMV is one hell of a cross section of America cultures. As soon as I walked in I noticed that just about every country had a person in line representing them. In fact as soon as I got in the first line, yes the first line. At the DMV they have 3 separate lines that you have to wait in. I don’t know why they just don’t consolidate them and have one line but I guess that would just be too efficient. Either way as soon as I got in line I got the opportunity to learn a bit of Chinese. It just so happened that the lady at the front of the line was not too happy that she had to have her passport with her to get a drivers license seeing how her passport was back at home. She let off with a torrent of the Chinese language that I was not able to translate but by the tone of her voice I can only guess she was telling the DMV guy that she was the son of a motherless goat and that he had very tiny balls. I can assume this is what she was saying by the fact that she was making goat noises and jumping up and down while pointing at his genitala.

I also got to experience old black lady farts. For those who have never smelled old black lady farts before let me tell you what they smell like. Imagine the smell of the superdome after Hurricane Katrina and that is basically what it smelled like. There was this really old black lady in line behind me who kept on farting and just looking at me and smiling. Now I know it was her who was farting because these were some of the most hellishly, loud, wet, stinky farts I have ever smelled or heard. Now keep in mind I have heard some bad ones in my life, I was in a fraternity and I am also a fire fighter, both which are known for letting out some major butt gas.

I also learned today that when they say do not cross the yellow line, they really mean do not cross the yellow line. One little Hispanic man had the misfortune of not understanding English and ventured past the yellow line before his number was called. Needless to say he got a berating by the DMV lady like I have never heard in my life. This verbal onslaught caused this 6’1, 240 pound Hispanic construction worker to break down into tears. I felt for the guy, I really did.

Either way after 3 hours of this hell I am glad to finally be out of there. I can not even imagine someone waking up in the morning and saying to themselves, “You know what, I really need a job. I think I am going to go to the DMV and apply for a job”. Now that takes some major balls and I applauded you Miss DMV Worker.

My Office...

So as much as I hate my job, and believe you me I hate it much like Osama Bin Laden hates little kittens. Trust me, he really hates them. Well as much as I hate my job I have to admit there is some funny stuff that happens around here.

For instance today I was having a meeting with a person in my cubical. Well I am sitting here meeting with her and every time I get a new email in Microsoft Outlook a little box pops up with the email message in it. So I am sitting here and this girl keeps reading my emails as they come in. She is being very obvious about it and I know she is reading it because her lips are moving as she reads it. Well wouldn't you know it I get an email from one of my buddies.

Of course the email is completely inappropriate for work. Basically it is him telling me what all sexually he did to this girl that he meet at the bar last weekend. Needless to say it was very graphic and involved whips, chains, a nine iron, a moose head, two midgets, a bottle of Jager not frozen, a school girl outfit that he wore (don't ask) and a 1978 vinyl record of Issac Hayes. So as I get this email I figure what the hell, this girl wants to be nosy go for it lady and I don't close the email for her to read. You should have seen this girl's face as she was reading this email it was priceless. Well when she gets done reading it I look at her and say, "Don't you wish you had friends like that, you want me to introduce you to him?" She just looked at me with these deer caught in a headlight look, got up, gathered her notebook and left my cubical. Good God I love Fridays.

I love this beanie...

 

Who I would like to meet...

I'd love to have lunch with Bill Clinton. I bet he and I would have a nice long meal where we started off with salad as we discussed his '92 campaign. He'd probably order wine, which would be awkward 'cause it'd be lunch and I'd be a dude, but his affable manner and cordial demeanor would diffuse any uncomfortable rumblings from the other patrons. As we sipped our wine (white, I bet) I'd talk to him about how he managed the crazy economy of the 90's, and why he thought it wasn't sustained. He'd probably point out that no boom can come without a bust, and he'd be right. By meal's end we'd walk around the grounds sampling some fine brandy which would go quite nicely with the Cuban cigars he had smuggled in, laughing about that whole Lewenski thing.

I'd love to talk to Colin Powell about how he could've let that whole Iraq thing happen. Brunch with Van Gogh at his zaniest would have been fresh. I'd love to have drinks with Jean Beaudrillard and ponder the substantial vaccousness of America. If I met Ghandi I'd rub his belly in my best approximation of the Ignorant Frat Boy.

I'd like to meet up with Fairuza Balk and just stare into her eyes without speaking, pay the bill and calmly walk away.

Shooting up with Sid and W.S. Burroughs in one room would be a meeting I'd take (minus the heroin). Killing time with Bob Marley wouldn't suck, as he'd roll up a huge fatty and we'd talk about the nature of art, communication and love. I'd request the minutes from my meetings with Hammurabi, Jesus, Budda, Gengis Kahn and Keeanu Reeves.

I'd like to meet the sisters Simpson and Duff all at once, Hilary & Haylie Duff and Jessica & Ashlee Simpson; have kind of a round table thing where we'd push aside the fluff and got down to the nitty gritty nuts and bolts political and philosophical issues I know they're all dying to talk about. I read an essay by Ashlee once called "The Theory of Forgetting and the Problem of Matter" that blew my mind and I can't remember which Duff wrote "Capturing the Sinai: The Modern Ramifications of Isralei Success in the Arab Peninsula", but it really opened my eyes to the real politik of the mid-east region.

If I met Clay Aiken I'd pinch his cheeks and wish him the best of luck. I'd like to meet up with the hombre that invented burritos, buy him one from Taco Cabana and ask him what he thought of his progeny now. Were I ever to meet Scott Baio I'd thank him for his exceptional work in Charles in Charge, to which I owe the bulk of my social skills. I'd like to meet others, but they frankly don't warrant mention here, excepting how much I wish I could hang out with Tiffany Amber Theissen.

My friends are the bomb...

So I am sitting at Fazolis with about 8 of my friends and I must say my friends are the best in the world. They really are great people and they make me who I am. They are the reason I am the way I am and they really are the best. I know that's one thing that people who date me love about me is my friends. We really are a great bunch of people and there are not a lot of good people out there like us. I really am blessed.

A wee bit of a confidence boost…

So for those who don’t know me very well you might not know this or not but I have a slight issue with low self esteem. I don’t know what caused it or where it started from, maybe it's from the fact that I was a huge nerd in Junior High and High School and I got picked on all the time for being a nerd. I really did not bust out of my shell till late in college and by then I guess I was already set in my ways. Well either way it is an issue that I am working on. Well these last couple of days I have had me a few confidence boosters that have started to help.

So I have had a few girls come up and talk to me lately that I never in a million years would think would be interested in me. A few of these girls have been the kind that usually the guys just stand off in the corner at a club and look at and say, "Man, I wish I could talk to that girl she is freaking hot". Well guess what, not only did I talk to that girl but she came up and talked to me to start with. It was pretty cool and I could defiantly have used the confidence boost.

Then last night at my bands show there was this girl standing over to the side just watching us. This girl was really hot, all the guys in the band kept looking at her and were like, man that girl is freaking smoking hot. Well I did not think anything of it and I figured she was here with some dude or was checking out one of the other guys in the band. In between one of the sets I took off outside because I tend to just chill on my own during our breaks. Well I come back in and my guitar player is like, "Dude, that super hot chick wants to meet you. She was asking who you were and if you were single and what not". At first I did not believe him because it is defiantly not above us to bust each others balls and just mess around like that. Sure enough the chick is looking at me while I play and smiling. Long story short she really was interested in me. Who would have thunk it?

So in the span of a few days, I know of 4 really hot chicks who are digging on me or who think I am hot. I was pretty stoked about it just due to the fact that my confidence could really use something like that and that really was what I needed right now. In fact one of the chicks who I met at the show does bikini modeling on the side. I suppose that is always a plus to boost the old self esteem. Now if I can only find a girl who loves to dance or play music I will be set. I don't think I can date a girl who does not enjoy performing in front of a crowd of people or a girl who is not into the arts. I am just too much into that stuff for a regular girl I think.

On a side note this Thursday I am going to Austin with my band for some shows. I plan on actually getting a tattoo on my back while I am there. I am trying to find a really cool looking tattoo that has to do with music, any suggestions?

Here's to the night...

So last night was a lot of fun. Thanks to all the people who tuned in and had fun hanging on my cam with me and just acting stupid. It was a lot of fun getting to chat with everyone and getting to hear a lot of people’s stories about what’s going on in their life. It was a lot of fun and we should all do it again sometime. And yes, thankfully last night I made no drunken calls. Yeah Russell-P!!

So I am pretty excited about this Sunday. I have a friend who invited me out to a new church and I am really excited about trying it out. Hopefully I will enjoy it and find a church where I can feel at home at. So far I have found one but I don’t know if going there is the best thing for me right now. I have been doing good and have gone to a different church every Sunday for the last couple of weeks. I figure by the time I find a church I feel comfortable at I will be able to write a book about all the different church’s here in Houston.

I am also excited because my rock star life kicks back into high gear this week. The band and I have 3 shows this weekend starting tonight. For those who don’t know me very well, being on stage is one of the things I love most in life. I love to get up there jump around, say stupid stuff, mess with the crowd and basically act like a moron on stage see I am just as God made me… a idiot. Either way that’s the thing that I love to do more then anything in life.

So I hope everyone has a great day. Yes I really do mean every one of you. I am thinking about you all and I miss some of you, you know who.

Live performance by Russell-P on his cam tonight...

That's right folks, I have been sitting here playing my guitar and my cam has been on. Well there has been a few of you who said they enjoyed watching me play so....

I will be drinking Kirin Ichiban because I am so cultured. :-D

TONIGHT ONLY...
RUSSELL-P AND HIS ACOUSTIC GUITAR LIVE AT CLUB 1127...
PLAYING ALL HIS FAVORITE SONGS DRUNK ON HIS WEB CAM...
DON'T MISS OUT, IT WILL BE A SITE TO SEE...

So Russell-P, what’s embarrassing to you…

Could it be sitting in a meeting with your entire department seated right across from the new VP who called this meeting to introduce himself to the team when all of a sudden your stomach will not stop growling? Hummm yeah I would say that is embarrassing and I would also say that just happened to me. I could not help it; I am freaking starving right now. I was so hungry in there that I kept reaching in my pocket to get lint out and eat it in hopes that my stomach would stop making noise.

Oh well. I will soon stop this hunger by having my weekly Sushi night tonight. That’s right; it’s the happiest night of the week for me when I get to chow down on Sushi. This is the night that a few friends and I always get together at this local Sushi (is Sushi supposed to be capitalized?) joint where it is 25% off and gorge ourselves on Philadelphia rolls and all other kinds of raw meat. It is oh so yummy. I also tend to have me a few things of sake, which tonight I will not get drunk on. Ok I might get a slight buzz on. Ok screw it, I might get completely hammered on and then make drunk dial calls all night long. So if you are one of those fortunate or unfortunate, depends on how you look at it, people who get a call tonight just tell me I am dumb and hang up on me. There is no need for you guys to encourage this kind of behavior on my part.

Here's one in your pink eye...

So I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but I think I am dying. For the last couple of months I have been getting sick all the time and I don't get it. In fact right now, I have freaking pink eye. That's right, pink eye. How am I supposed to impress the ladies with freaking pink eye? That's certainly not a way to get hooked up with a chick.

These last couple of months I have missed more work then I have the entire year, which kind of sucks because I wish I would have missed this many days when I had a girlfriend so I could have at least chilled at home with her. Now I am missing these days and all I do is sit at home sick with no one to make chicken broth for me. I love having chicken broth when I am sick.

Either way, man this really sucks always being sick. I am wondering what it is that is causing me to be sick. I know a year ago I had a problem with mold in my apartment bathroom. They ended up having to come in there and rip out my bathroom walls and try to get rid of all the mold. What's scary is that the maintenance guys are the one that came and did this and they are not the smartest of people. I am wondering if now that I am living back home if that is what is making me sick. If so that's not a good thing because I know black mold can make people pretty sick and even kill you. So I suppose if you guys get on here and I don't have anything written you can assume that it was black mold and I am lying in my apartment dead.

If it does kill me then Garett you can have my computer. Boob you can have my TIVO and my kitten, take care of my Willy, she likes to be scratched behind her right ear. I suppose whoever wants it can have my car. Other then that I think the rest of the stuff I have is crap and no one would want it. Well I suppose someone might want my collection of Mexican wrestling mask and my set of bagpipes that I never got to work so I will let you guys fight over them.

Not ready for the nationals...

So tonight my roomate Boob (no that is not his God given name) and one of my best friends Garett (yes that is his God given name and we make fun of him for it everyday) decided to go to the gym and test out our skills at racketball. Ok first off let me say that none of us have played this game since we were in college. That was about 4 years ago and needless to say, damn, we really suck. It took us 45 mintues to play one game to 21. Well we probalby should not have had Chick-Fa-Lay right before we went to play.

Either way it was a blast. All though we suck at it and I think every one of us sustained some kind of injury, mine was from the fact that after I won I took off my shirt like that soccer chick and slid on my knees across the court, needless to say when you slide on the court it hurts like HELL!!! Boob ended up busting up his knees and his fingers and Garett some how managed to hurt his balls, ok well I made that part up but I did almost kick him in the nuts one time when he kept making me try to hit the ball with my backhand.

So as I was saying we all really suck at this game but we are going to try and get better at it. One day I think I will be good enough for the National Racqet Ball Team. Oh yes, one day little kids will have Baseball cards with me on it holding my racket and balls. Wow that sounds kind of dirty. They will sell jerseys of me at footlocker and I will be bigger then the Rockets. Oh yes, I will have dancers that perform for me at all my matches and I will be as the kids say, the bomb. Mark my words. Now I just have to learn to play.

Yo...

Nothing like sitting at home getting drunk on Bacardi Silver Strawberry drinks that your ex girlfriend left over a long time ago. Thanks ex girlfriend...

On a side note, I think I am going to change my MySpace tag to say, "He's not a man, he's a loving machine".

A serious post…

That’s right ladies and gentleman, I am not afraid to admit when I have an addiction. I am not like some of those people who deny their crack habits only to be seen behind the alley hooking up and doing crazy sexual stuff with some old man for crack money. I am not like those people you see on TV who preach about how bad addictions are only to be an addict of something themselves. You see folks I am just not like those people. I am the kind of guy who comes out and admits when he has an addiction and that is what I am doing now. I have been struggling with this addiction for a while now and I am sure most of my friends have noticed the change in me since I got hooked on to my addiction. It has kept me up late at night, it has made me miss days of work and it has made me on edge a lot lately. This addiction is something that if I am not able to get a hold of and get help with, it has the potential to destroy me. I am aware of this and I am soon going to be going into treatment for my addiction. The addiction that I have is that I am totally, absolutely, 100% in every way shape and form addicted to Posh Spice.

For the past 10 years I would say I have been struggling with this addiction. In fact ever since the movie Spice World came out and I bought the video for my girlfriend at the time I have been addicted to her. She is in my opinion one of the greatest things God has every created. Of course she had to go and marry that douche David Beckham and then he had to have the nerve to go and cheat on my Posh. That's what I don't get, the dude has one of the hottest girls in the world and he cheats on her. See ladies; let that be a lesson to you. When you find a good guy who treats you great and gives the world to you; a guy who is willing to lay down and bend over backwards to make you laugh and smile; a guy who may not be the best looking bloke out there but one who at least has all his teeth much like myself, you better hold on to him because most guys are dicks and treat girls like crap... but I digress.

Either way, Posh has got it going on and I would like to formally, right now, in front of God and all my readers ask Posh for her hand in marriage. So Posh, will you marry me? You can just leave me a comment on this blog with your answer.

Man I wish I knew...

So I am at a Mexican restaurant eating and drinking a big ass margarita, yes I have a good buzz right now, and I really wish I spoke Mexican because the guy singing the song on the radio sure does sound like he has something important to say.

Movin on up baby...

That's right folks, me and my lil ole band is movin on up in the world. This just in we are going to be playing the Lone Star Rally festival in Galveston Texas on November 2nd. This is the largest bike rally in Texas and they are expecting 250,000 people. Not to shabby I would say. Go take a look at the page and see who is on top.

http://www.lonestarrally.com/activities.html

Russell-P is going through the hardest time in his life...

This truly is the hardest time in my life right now. The topic that I am dealing with is really hard for me to grasp and come to terms with. I have gone through some tuff times in my life before and this is by far the hardest. My father has had cancer, I have been dumped by a girl I lived with and who I wanted to marry, I have no clue what I want to do with my life and I have a huge fear of rejection and yet this topic now is even bigger then all of those put together. This topic I am dealing with is going to require a lot of